Friends,
Today we’re going to look at Ashida Kim’s Sentry Removal Techniques 4 of 5. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bc1sN7eeyvM
The first bit of the video shows Ashida Kim exiting the house he’s been infiltrating for the last two parts of his videos. He is employing a technique for exiting through a doorway as seen in his “Secrets of the Ninja” book. The technique involves placing your hand on the door’s high-frame as you walk through the crack of the door, making a barrier out of your arm so less light can get through the doorway. Ashida is doing his own technique incorrectly; he gets his footwork mixed up and lots of light gets through the doorway because of it. Because he’s such a short little guy, he can’t even reach the top of the door either - adding to the fail-factor of his technique.
Also, recall that he “picked” the lock upon entering the house a few videos ago without wearing gloves, leaving fingerprints on the doorknob.
Next, he places his hands on the railing by the door (leaving fingerprints again) and hops over it. He then begins to sneak around the house into the garden, for whatever reason. All this happens while a scene from Part 1 of the series with the sentry shooting the pond keeps cutting in and out. I’m not sure who was put in charge of the sound-effects for this video, but they should be fired. The sentry by the pond keeps shouting “HWA!!!” (sounding identical every time, obviously a sound-effect) and his gun is evidently being fired before he is finished aiming it (a poorly-timed sound effect). Also, at 0:21, as Ashida Kim leaps over the railing, the sound-effect of glass breaking can be heard. I’m sorry, Mr. Kim - it appears you broke an invisible sheet of glass while leaping over the fence. Either that, or the sound-effects unit is having a bad day. At 0:53, the actor portraying the sentry by the pond is seen making hand gestures and nodding his head at the camera, apparently asking questions about what he should do to portray the sentry better or something. Poor editing and trimming, I must say.
Next, we see Ashida amusingly trying to hide behind a telephone pole. The sentry opposite of him spins around to see him, and shouts the exact same “HWA!!!” sound effect heard by the other sentry, while motioning for Ashida to step closer. I guess “HWA!!!” is sentry-jargon for “come here, ninjer!”. This new sentry, wearing some kind of camouflage that looks like a leopard skin, decides that it is a good idea to take one hand off his rifle, then step close enough so that Ashida Kim can touch it. Ashida Kim heroically knocks out the foolish sentry, something that no one but a highly-trained ninja could do - I mean, how tactical was the sentry’s strategy? Impressive.
Next we see Mr. Kim performing some horrible ukemi. He tries to do a back-roll but ends up smashing his head on the ground first. Luckily, he was in the grass - if he was on pavement he’d have a concussion. He then does a horrible front break-fall and then starts rolling around the grass like he’s having a seizure. He gets up by doing a Kung-Fu style leg-spring, and demonstrates it from different angles - apparently, he’s quite proud of himself. This is probably his famous “ninja bullet-evading techniques”, since there are a lot of fake-sounding gunshot sound-effects playing while he’s flailing around. Next, while continually cutting in and out of the scene with the sentry by the pond, Ashida begins to strike very ninja-like postures. From 2:00 to 2:07, one of the worst editing jobs I’ve ever seen takes place. Ashida Kim poses in front of that tool shed seen in Part 1, and apparently tries to make you think he vanished into thin air. The film was stopped, Ashida got out of the frame, and the film was rolled again. It would have looked kind of cool, except the cameraman decided it would be funny to change the angle of the tool shed in between shots, so it just looks like two totally different filming sessions instead of a smooth transition. Oh well - sorry Ashida, did you think that we were that gullible?
Next, Ashida Kim descends from a rooftop via some sort of wireless antenna (leaving more fingerprints). His strategy wouldn’t be all that bad, if only there wasn’t a bright security light shining in his face , attached to the wall of the house. Look just a few inches to the left of Ashida while he’s on the antenna and you will see it. In the daylight he’s totally visible, but his strategy of using rooftops would be ruined even after dark if he didn’t account for the motion-detecting security light. He then flees the house by crawling underneath the house’s porch. Not a bad idea, except you leave obviously flattened grass where you crawled. And don’t set off that pesky light next time, got it?
Next, we get to see him crawl through very tall grass again. Have you ever tried crawling through tall grass? If not, go try it right now - or not, but I recommend it sometime. Notice how flattened the grass is after you crawl on it? It’s not advisable to do that because it leaves such an obvious trail. Especially watch from 4:48 to 4:56, there is a huge clump of grass that he bends down, leaving an amusingly visible trail of evidence. But I guess since Ashida Kim is a ninja master and we’re not, we’re not suppose to know that. Oops. Sorry Ashida, I’ll shut up.
Ashida starts crawling closer to the pond, and the narrator talks about using water for stealth, calling it kitsune-gakure-no-jutsu incorrectly (suiton-no-jutsu is correct). Ashida is shown putting the edges of his tabi in the water, then the scene ends - maybe the water was too cold for Ashida’s taste. Next we get to watch him rub his hands together from where they have dirt on them. I guess you’ll have to deal with it, Princess Kim - you’re going to get a bit dirty crawling around in a field.
After wiping his hands, he begins to exit the field. Of course it is foolish to wear a black dogi and a ski mask in the middle of a field in broad daylight on enemy territory, but should you be caught in such a situation, it is advisable to get out of the field as quickly as possible. Ashida, being the ninja master he is, takes a few steps, then stops to kneel down and look around. Then he takes a few more steps, and repeats. I’m sorry, but if a sentry wearing camouflage is watching you from the woods surrounding the field, you’re not going to see him from the center of the field. Ashida is wasting his time looking around so much - he should briefly observe his options from where he is, then run as fast as he can to get out of the field. I can just picture a sentry with binoculars watching Ashida prance around the field, laughing so hard it takes him a moment before he’s able to call for back-up.
At 6:20, we get to see Ashida do his version of a military ambush tactic. Ashida has covered himself with a tan blanket in the middle of the field, and is ready to leap up for an ambush attack. This technique can prove to be effective (after all, it originates with the military), but the way he does it is a bit flawed. The original tactic involves several team members covering one person (the ambusher) with natural foliage - leaves, sticks, dirt, etc until he looks like a clump of natural vegetation. The team members then leave for their own plans and the ambusher is ready to strike. Ashida Kim’s method involves using a thick tan blanket for cover. For one thing, doing that in the middle of a field in the hot sun can give someone heat exhaustion, and the blanket is also an extra thing to carry. Ashida’s location is also not strategic - sentries patrol on trails (well, real ones, at least), while Ashida is just in the middle of a field. Since he’s using a Hollywood ninjato for a weapon, the sentry would have to pass within a foot or so for Ashida to be able to attack him. Ashida should have done this right beside a trail used by sentries so he is more likely to succeed and not lay out in a hot field all day covered in a thick blanket. Also, if you pay attention to Ashida’s body movement as he leaps up, it looks like he was just crouched. This would mean that he would have had to dig a hole for himself before the technique could be used. However, this is probably the coolest-looking technique used by Mr. Kim so far, so I guess I have to give him credit for that.
Finally, to end Part 4 of Ashida Kim’s Ninja Sentry Removal Techniques 4 of 5, we see Ashida Kim climb up and sit on a wall while the narrator is blabbering gibberish. Ashida then sits cross-legged and pretends to meditate, and, using another poor editing technique, another fake ninja appears out of nowhere to sit beside of Ashida Kim. At the last second as the film is fading out, Ashida can be seen dropping is head quickly, as if showing frustration or exhaustion (from climbing up that little hill to get to the wall, maybe?). For Ashida’s own sake, I wish they had edited that part out.
This concludes part 4 of 5.
Stay tuned! An evaluation of part 5 is on the way.
The Truthful Warrior
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